So drunk its hurt
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We need a shit load of segways right now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
