Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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