You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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