I smell stomach acid.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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