I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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