And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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