I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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