clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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