There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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