You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
