I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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