Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
