Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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