Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
