I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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