How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
