You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
