dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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