What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
