His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am available for nakedness
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
