You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize