Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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