we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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