In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize