idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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