I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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