i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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