we're blogging at a bar
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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