So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Your penis caused this!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
