Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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