I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
only you would photoshop your dick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
