I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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