Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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