The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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