Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
