Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
