the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
