Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
