let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
