weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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