Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
