i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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