I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
