we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
