Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
