I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
