your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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