Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
