ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
