you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize