i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
