What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize