You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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