Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize