So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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