So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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