Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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