It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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