So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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