it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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