So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
