so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
