dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
