they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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