nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
