I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
